GROOM FOR SALE!

This is the story of the unique lifestyle of the so called Men of India. It's also an insight into the proud life that they enjoy, shamelessly by the privileges given to them by this ancient blind society of hypocrites. I would like to narrate how these courageous and proud men of India survive with their in-laws alms. I was born into a typical fisherman family of Kerala. My father till date says for how much less he was sold for during his marriage to my mom and my mom proudly proclaims how much more she had to spend to buy my dad. It's truly a funny show to watch them passing such comments. But it scares me when they turn their eye towards me and drafts a plan as to how much amount I should be sold in the future which could compensate the expenses they faced while upbringing me. This isn’t something that happens in my home alone. It happens in every household in India that has male child! This is the sole reason why when parents realise that they have a girl child, their heart rate goes up the roof and ends up in panic thinking about their child's safety in society and how much they should spend to acquire a groom to “protect their daughter” and “to give her a life” so as to make her a complete woman. Whereas knowing that a male child is born provides them with such satisfaction and cheerfulness because they know that he can be sold at some of point of time. So why exactly does the "bride's side" should pay to get a groom, though they are addressed as life partners! What makes men in India so expensive that the girl's parents have to spend a lifetime of savings just to get her married? The answers to these questions aren’t that simple. It's like a long rope entangled with knots and twists which when you think of removing it one by one, it only gets worse to understand. One needs a broader open mind and above all a great observation that will require us to dive deep down into the dark and complicated yet externally perfected Indian Society and It's Culture. For those whose minds are not yet veiled by these false practices and those who have an unbiased attitude towards the genders, might agree with me in the following facts. The very thought of presuming that a girl is not safe only because she happens to be a girl is awful. Sayings such as she can't live by herself; which becomes true when she isn't having a job or simply when she isn't independent and that she should marry before her expiry date (which is now just 18), makes the groom more expensive; as literally a woman of above qualities becomes worthless of his protection because she just happens to be a home maker or out-dated or simply isn't up to the groom's family expectations. Whereas imagine a girl being successful or at the least a bit independent. Again that scares her family; because now they need to find a groom that's above their own daughter's status this is again because a woman can never earn above her husband's salary. Hence the women of our country are forced to learn the highly proclaimed art of Indian housekeeping chores and live a life always dependent on their hubby and even a thought of daring to leave her hubby desires to chase her own dreams is considered as a sin. And the husband who was raised and pampered by his mother and family until his marriage has now received a new baby sitter; simply called as "wife". As for men cooking, cleaning etc... aren't seen as basic life skills instead it is something meant only for a specific gender. Can't blame him because it is how he was raised. So what's the solution to this purchase that occurring at times of Indian Weddings? How to put an end to the way we do these; as it's completely excruciating to even imagine how difficult it is to force another human being to pay for the welfare of the other. Do you know that the highly demanded grooms even purchase a bed with their in-laws dowry? Why, even they do maintenance works of their house using it, probably even use it to find a job or invest in their own business or even clear out any debts that the groom's family has. An easy way to take advantage of the broken society rules isn't it?

A marriage results in an eternal bond between two people. That's why they call each other life partners and not as a boss and an employee. Partnership means equal rights equal benefits equal recognition. It doesn't involve anyone asking someone for their permissions to chase their own dreams. It won't have love that ends at child birth but the one that does going to last forever. It won't have anyone sacrificing their lives for somebody else. Wedding should happen later when you both understand each other know each other and is ready in all aspects of life to live a life together. It should happen when you both have enough financial support to get married. Because it your wedding. It's you too whose getting benefited from it all. And yes there's no expiry for a human being let it be a man or woman. Oh yes I do hope you must be bored hearing this but still- Age is just a number!!! The man who doesn't believe in equality of his own "better half" doesn't become a man nor can it be called as a marriage. It's nothing else but another successful completion, of the dreadful, Conventional Indian Life Cycle with you becoming another slave to it. A group of individuals forms a family. A family makes a home. A group of homes makes a society. So stop blaming the society for everything. Because you itself is a link that gives birth to this toxic society. When you change you change your family. Your family changes your home which changes sorry cleanses the society itself. So don’t just read and move on be the change and Make it happen!