HELLO, MY DEAR MYSELF!

Hello my dear myself,

How long ago was it since we have sat together to talk?

But here I am right now,

Exhausted of running around!

When I thought of standing still for a while,

I've come to talk to the self I lost years back.

Scared and lost, I came

To see if you are still alive!

Face to face we sit

You smiling,

But my head is lowered deep in awfulness.

The mistake was mine.

I left you behind like garbage.

And went behind those who treated me like garbage.

Thought that the larger the circle I made,

The more important I would be in this world.

Hence I learned a lot from them all,

Some trustworthy backstabbers,

Some very good pretenders,

Some very good souls!

I was busy sorting them out

Crossing out the names of liars and bitches

So busy was I that

I didn't even think of you.

When I wanted somebody to console me,

I searched the vast wide world

Yet I forgot about the world in me.

You and I would've made the best company.

Because you don't know anybody else but me.

You could not have hurt me

As you haven't had lessons on that.

Maybe you might've have known

To keep me happy is what makes you happy.

Little did I realize the importance of seclusion.

You and me together forever.

Who else is better than you to share my secrets?

You never satisfied yourself, by sharing somebody else's.

Because can anyone be like you;

An adamant strong-willed myself?

You have never broken your promises,

Because you never made one you can't keep.

Looking back into the 21 years of my life,

The way I came has been encroached by amnesia

And the way ahead is as thick as a veil of fog

Stranded am I

In this world of possibilities.

Helpless am I

in this world of millions.

Clueless am I

As there are so many paths to take.

Looking for a trustworthy companion in the dark

A light in this eerie night

Alas, how can I be so ignorant?

To forget about the light within me!

The light shining so bright

So innocent

So pure

Not even a little taint of yellow

But the purest of blues I've ever seen.

Why can't it lead me?

Unanimously we would've walked miles forever.

Enjoying each other's company.

Others say I'm a bore

But beside me, you used to laugh at them

Whispering,

"How much Exactly do u know about him?"

They say I'm a nerd.

Being an introvert isn't that bad!

You used to say.

Humour sense? Well, that's a joke.

Yet my humor-less humor was your best comedy night.

I wear a lot of masks

Masks of hypocrisy

And masks of pretensions.

To satisfy and please

The strangers who come and go.

My life has become a pit stop

For them to use and throw.

The life that I forgot to live for me

Laughs back at me now.

Isn't this all a well-made satire it asks;

I wore a thick skin

Neither to handle the cold nor to beat the heat

But to withstand the strong winds of abuse and hatred

From extinguishing my flame.

The skin I had worn has got so thick.

And the one I wore to protect my fire

Has suffocated it and killed it.

Dead am I; so long ago!

Trapped in that way

With no light to guide

Hence I came back to you right now

To see if you can help!

To stop trying and

To start living.

To stop dreaming and

To start doing.

Never have you ever said No.

Your smile is always a "welcome smile".

You always had a solution to all my problems.

Barely can I keep count of how many we've solved!

But when you and I light the torch of life within me

You gave me a satire smile

As you have already guessed what I will do next.

Like I said who else knows me better than you?

And when the light had burned bright

The purest of blues reborn again,

What else did I have to sacrifice

Except for a few tears and a broken heart!

And a soul full of scars beyond repair

And a head full of dark memories that peep back to kill the flame.

And when the way I should walk has been made well clear

By the light called Move On,

Here I am once again wanting to leave

To leave my self-esteem

And self-love,

To leave my identity of being alright to be "Not So Cool"

And be somebody else for the strangers yet to come.

With a bright smile when you wave me out

You know I'll come back again

As I don't have anybody else to turn back to.

And I know you will keep that door of my heart open,

For you and me,

To light the light of life once again when I return.

But scared am I as to the next time I come,

You may not be there for me.

Because I would've killed you

And would've made another one,

A Little Lifeless than you.

As I know that the path I am about to take

Is the worst and tough of them all.

As of right now,

Everything is good so far...

Hope it will be like this henceforth!

But what Life will be then,

If everything was to be alright for everybody!

Therefore I am pretty much sure I will come back again,

Hence until we meet again

My Dear Myself,

It's me 'your self' departing from you!